Confessions

Diary 1: Exhibit “A”

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] Guess who’s fucked? You’d be right: me.   Today another Moan-day and I’m running late. I slide my feet into my slip-ons feeling yesterday’s dampness and no sunshine to ease matters. With a look of rain I button up and shovel […]

Diary 2: Satisfaction

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] Here then it is – my life over in eight seconds. Nine tops.   Its origins lie in a red mist that descends. The devil’s gunpowder. I yield to it. It plays out. Logic collapses. Events overcome me. I lose perspective […]

Diary 3: Saucy Susan

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] Everyone wants to be wanted. Wanted in a non-Interpol way.   She’s a product of good genes. Her looks define her. It brings privilege. Desirability. Wantability. But there’s a catch: she doesn’t understand time. One day she’ll be caught out when […]

Diary 4: Doing Some Good

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] I’m up for GBH. The Taliban would be more forgiving. I’m going to be made an example of. For shaming fellow lawyers. I may even be considered a lethal weapon. Then my sentence will be longer. It’s comical. Only it’s not […]

Diary 5: Consequences

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.]   Proof.   It’s the story of my life. Yet Dad says it like its slipped my mind.   ‘Innocent until proven guilty.’ ‘Sure’ I say. ‘But after the evidence …. Guilty. It’s clear-cut.’ ‘Might seem so but it’s unfair to […]

Diary 6: The Real Beginning

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] Back at the check-out counter I offer to carry the ladies box of groceries. She’s flustered. She throws her head over her shoulder and politely declines. I insist. She relents. I see the ring but it has nothing to do with […]

Diary 7: The Deal

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] London a month later and I meet Martin on his turf. Summoned, I wonder why I really went. Perhaps it’s the tickets to see Arsenal. But beyond dovetailing the trip with a game of football what life-changing outcome am I after? […]

Diary 8: All Rise

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] When can withholding the truth be a lie?   With Dad hobbling back down the corridor I feel cruel. Like I’ve killed him. If there’s anything, anything, I can do to show him that I’ll make a go of things I […]

Diary 9: Man of Straw

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] At the table, with hands squeezing his cheeks, Mr Murphy makes a sandwich of his face. The effect only makes him look more ridiculous as his moustache becomes a tortured grey mouse trying to flee his mouth. And if he isn’t […]

Diary 10: Treason

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] Packing up, emptying out, I’m about to disassemble, to give up being me.   The flat-pack boxes are still flat so I hunker down and set to building some. Susan landed them in my office. She thinks I’m filing away closed […]

Diary 11: Plan B

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] Naively, I imagined I’d get on with the publishing house as they too are a specie of office mole. Alas no, I’m a threat, a security breach of sorts. I intrude on their business. By insisting on me as His ghost, […]

Diary 13: My Subject

[CLICK ON AUDIO BAR TO LISTEN INSTEAD OF READING. POST COMMENTS AT PAGE END.] Let’s call Him Jeff [1]. Jeff something-or-other. I’m standing in His shag pile. Ankle-deep. Although the appointment is pre-arranged, Vinny, the butler, acts surprised to see me and leaves me stew in a room for some minutes.   ‘He will see […]